🫂Finding your tribe
We are switching things up!
Last week we contacted our friend Staffan, some of you might know him from our “2 Strangers Swap Lives Across the World for 72hrs!!” video, or from “Traveling to the “Worst” Country in Europe” and others might know him as our host for the Iceman Premier Tour.
We asked him if he would want to write a piece for our newsletter and he said Yes!
We hope you enjoy this story as much as we do!
Have you ever felt misplaced and not valued for being you?
When I was in high school I was battling to find my place and tribe.
I had developed a skin condition called acne that had given me scars on my neck. To cover those scars, I started wearing scarves. Not out of fashion, I was just scared. Afraid people would use it against me, as some sometimes did. It made me close the door to show my true self, and I left my value to be decided by others.
But what I didn’t realize then I know now. And I'd like to share with you a story that inspired me.
A father once told his son, "You are now 18 years old and as a gift, I give you an old family watch. But before I give it to you, I want you to go see how much the market will offer you for it.”
Excited, the son first went to a watch dealership and they told him: “The watch is not working and looks quite worn out, but we’ll give you 20 dollars”.
The son then went to a flea market and there nobody would give him more than a dollar for the watch.
Finally, completely discouraged, the son went to a watch collector club and displayed the watch.
After the meeting at the club, the son ran home to his father and said: “Dad, you won't believe this! The people at the club said the watch is priceless, and that I could get however much I want for it. Some people at the club even offered 1,000,000 dollars on the spot for it because 'it's only one unique example of this watch!’”
Now the father said to his son: “The right place values you in the right way. If you are not valued in the right way, do not be angry, it means that you are in the wrong place. Those who know your worth are those who appreciate you. Show your true self and never stay in a place where no one sees your worth.”
In late high school, I made a decision that changed my life. If there is no flow, it’s a no-go. I decided to throw out my scarf and go on a mission to show my true self.
One step at a time. I started facing my fears. I searched for ‘yey-sayers’ instead of ‘ney-sayers’. I started reading books. I was testing out the waters, to see and feel where I can be at home. I started to see results. I grew. I even started inspiring others to find friends and challenge themselves. I started to present myself as a professional dreamer.
The journey wasn't easy though. And in many moments I've felt alone as if I still hadn't really connected and found my tribe - the people that really valued me as I was. To the point that in 2019 I remember vividly that I had a deep conversation with my sister about feeling alone and lost in life.
Funny enough, four days later, on the streets of Sweden, I was asked to swap lives for 72h with a stranger in Texas. I said Yes and biggest gift was that I met the strongest and best tribe out there. Yes, I am talking about you guys - Yes Theory and the Yes Fam.
Every single one of you that I’ve met in this community since has amazed me. In how you sparkle love over fear. How we all can be seekers, and support others to be it too. How we can set ourselves free to be our unapologetic selves. A unique medley of people who are unique in their own way. Thank you yes fam for making me feel a little bit more free & priceless.
I often remind myself that to get something I never had, I need to do something I’ve never done!
So now I am curious to ask you:
What scarf have you thrown away? Or what scarf do you want to throw away?
Reply to this email or leave a comment, I would love to read your responses!
Stay wild & be kind
Staffan & Tommy on the plane towards Texas right after Thomas found him on the street to swap life
First selfie of Staffan, Thomas and Tommy right after they met
Roseville, MN, USA - Friendsgiving (22nd of November)
Melbourne, Australia - Picnic (3rd of December)
London, UK - Meetup (10th of December)
Canada - Christmas Penpal (30th of December)
Message us on Instagram (@yestheorymeetups) about your upcoming meetups so they get added to this list!
“Fitting in allows you to blend in with everyone else, but being different allows you to be yourself, to be unique and to be more creative.” - Sonya Parker